Many years ago, I had a prolonged battle with a lethal cancer. I was physically decimated and had dropped 40 pounds. As a former varsity athlete who still played in baseball leagues in his forties, and then singles tennis tournaments- I believed that “cancer is your own body attacking itself!” So, no matter what degree of drug or extended radiation treatments, I decided that I would do A ”Rocky” thing.

I decided that psychologically I would show the cancer- that no matter how tired, weak or nauseous, I felt…I would never, never give up”. I got up every morning, and put on layers of sweats and did an intense 90 minute sweat soaked workout. Then, I finished by running three miles on a treadmill to hard rock music.

Running alone in my basement, I envisioned myself as a fighter, who though being knocked down with a referee counting, pulls himself back up on the ropes. I found myself repeating the Rocky character’s words, “I’m not goin’ down”. I wasn’t going to defend against the cancer-I was going to attack it! I remembered what so many of our fathers have said: “that real winners are successful because they get up off the canvas”.

Unlike many of my sculptures, that evolve and change as I work on them-I clearly saw every detail of this piece and drew the plan sketch you see, two years before actually beginning work on it….. I waited until “the “other guy” took the ten count!”
“The Fighter” surprised me as I saw the intense resolve-not fear or exhaustion in his face. How would I show that he has been hurt but refuses to lose. I kept shifting the position of the legs until I had one leg showing that he has been knocked down, and the other showing that he is getting up. His arms are supporting himself on the ropes-but he is pushing down on the ropes to pull himself back up. He is down in the corner. There is no escape. His back is to the post and the ropes are closing in on him. There is no fight or flee choice. The Fighter accepts the opponents strengths-but coaches and says to himself, as true winners do: “I’m getting up and I’ll win”. The “and He Got Up” part of the title of this piece is a line from a Van Morrison song referring to Ray Charles-who persevered despite losing his eyesight at six years old. He didn’t quit or feel sorry for himself. In my personal war with cancer, I was never and would never let myself be sorry for myself. I was furious, not at being sick, but at the cancer.
There was no “fight or flee” ability.
I had to truly win or really lose.
I would not land refused to lose.